Keeping your cool when the opponents luck into something good

In the same round as the hand mentioned in the previous post, feeling like we are way down in the match with 2 boards to go, I pick up:

x
K987
AQTxxx
AT

Both vul., righty opens 1H, I bid 2D, and the same guy that just bid the bad slam asks whether 2D is anything special and Mila says it's normal. Right there is a big giveaway as the where the rest of the diamonds are. That's a bad question to ask. Please don't do it. It gives away too much information to your partner. If it has any meaning other than basically, "I have 5 diamonds and 10 or so points", it will be alerted. So, the guy bids 3H, invitational, and righty bids 4H. Seeing a chance for a big swing our way, I got greedy and doubled and led my stiff spade. Sure enough, dummy comes down with KJxxx of diamonds and the A of hearts and the ace of spades. The hand is certainly beatable (probably by 2 tricks) if I just make safe exits (hearts) instead of trying to get cute and lead an ace. But I got greedy again and played ace and another club at some point, which turns out horribly because partner had only the queen of clubs, so declarer's possible 3 losers in clubs vanished into onyl 1. -790 was worth -5 imps against +620 at the other table but down 2 would have gotten us 15 imps back from their previous good fortune. Alas, we lost the match by only 18 imps.

In the 6th round, I had an opening lead problem against 3NT. The auction went 1C-1NT-P-2C;P-2S-P-2NT;P-3NT-P-P-P. I held:
Jxx
98xx
T9xx
Kx

Clearly they have only about 24 hcp and this is a very close game. I expect declarer has clubs well stopped, partly because he went on the game with a minimum (unless partner has opened extremely light in 1st seat or lefty invited with less than 8 hcp) and partly because partner didn't double 2C. So, I led the 10 of diamonds, hoping to just not give up anything. As it turns out, declarer's club stopper was only ATx and partner had QJ9xx so a club lead kills it right away. I tried to blame this on the opponents but really, I can't. I don't think I made the wrong lead but it just didn't work this time. Nex time with this auction declarer will have AQTx of clubs and the diamond will be right.

A little later in the 6th round, we have the auction 2S-X-3S-P;P-X-P-P;P. Who has the spade length? The doubler or the passer? On this particular hand, no matter how I played, I was going down 2 for -300 when they can make 400 in NT of clubs. But I was just amazed that the person who made 2 takeout doubles had QJTx in spades and a singleton A of hearts. I can't play against that kind of bidding. I would have been really upset if it had affected my line of play. I'm upset anyway. This guy had no logical reason to think we weren't making 3S. He had a 3 count with 6 clubs and a singleton spade - clearly should bid 4C. Whatever. They're not good players and I'm not going to try to understand how they think that doubling 2S is takeout but doubling 3S is penalty. It doesn't make any sense. If 2S-X was takeout, then 2S-X-3S-P-P-X is also takeout. But if 2S-X is penalty, then the other double also is penalty.