Pet Peeves at the Bridge Table

Today I’d like to share some of the things that really bother me in bridge, mainly with people and their mannerisms, in no particular order.

1. I hate when people hold a card out like they are about to play it but then keep it there, face down just above the table. This gets me reaching for my cards and I’d really rather have my hands more relaxed while waiting for you to play a card. When I see you pull a card out of your hand, I expect it to be on the table as a played card within a second.

2. Turning the boards upside down after they have been played or shuffled. Are you afraid you’re going to forget that you’ve played board 1 if you simply move it to the bottom of the stack? Turning the board over tends to get them out of order and some of the boards have those interlocking grooves that really don’t fit well when some boards are turned over. Plus, you can sometimes see parts of the cards from the bottom of the board. The ladder part applies more to turning them over when shuffling. So, I’d like to start a trend of a board face down (or a card turned up) means it needs to be shuffled and a board face up means it is done.

3. I hate people giving lessons at the table. Maybe between rounds is okay if there is time, but one should have the courtesy to save personal discussions of the hands until the opponents are done. At the conclusion of the hand, it is okay to ask about a particular person’s holding if you didn’t get have it quite figured out but if it’s going to be condescending or take longer than 10 seconds, save it.

4. Declarers who call a card from dummy before the whole dummy is on the table are really annoying. It’s in the laws somewhere they everyone should take time at trick one before playing from dummy. That means before dummy plays, not when it’s rho’s turn to play because it may look like rho is hesitating because of a problem with what to play at trick 1 when he really is formulating a plan for the whole hand. I never complain about this because the people that do this are the ones who don’t know what they’re doing anyway.

5. Dummies who pull a card from dummy before it is called, even if it’s a singleton for the same reasons mentioned above.

6. Spending a lot of time looking at the traveler. I know, you’re all curious to see what the other people did, but it slows down the game, and you can study the traveler after the game. In fact, I think travelers shouldn’t be used except maybe in a teaching or mentoring game.

7. Pulling your cards out before everyone is at the table is rude. I know, the vast majority of people wouldn’t cheat but it’s just bad manners. What’s there to gain by looking at your hand 30 seconds longer than your opponent? I suppose it’s okay if 1 opponent is at the table, but when the other opponent comes, he may come from behind you and inadvertently see your cards.

8. Asking for a detailed explanation of every alert during an auction rather than waiting until the end of the bidding. Yes, you’re probably always going to want to know what RHO’s 2D call meant after partner opened 1NT, and you are totally justified in asking what the alerts are for the first couple of bids in a precision auction, but after that, if it’s clearly an uncontested auction, quit interrupting and wait for the explanation at the end of the bidding.

9. 6 ½ table and 7 ½ table Mitchell movements and the 4 board sitouts that go along with those movements. I make every effort to not have a 4 board sitout in any game I direct. Even if it means a little more inconvenience and a little more work for the director, people overall much prefer 3 board sitouts for 4 board sitouts. Not to mention, in club games more masterpoints are won if you have 1 group of 13 or 15 pairs than 2 groups of 7 or so.

10. Tardiness. This irks me more than just about anything else because I am habitually early everywhere I go and I expect everyone else to be the same way.